screwloose | [RL with Birkin]

~~Even a dog can get kicked one too many times~~

Stein reached for the bottle and refilled Birkin's glass. "I'm sorry if the question bothers you," he said, startled by the vehemence of the reaction. "I was just curious about what happened, since I think I pretty much missed it all when I was so out of it last week."

But when Birkin looked at him so seriously, Stein stared back just as penetratingly. "It doesn't seem ridiculous. As you said, he was your only friend for a long time," he said, shaking his head.

He was pretty sure Birkin was lying to him, but about what?

~~That right there was an ICE BURN~~

"It's alright; I overreacted a bit. I mean, you hardly pulled the trigger or anything." Birkin sighed. "He... Redfield injected him with a serum that kept his virus in check and it made him weaker. He tried to fight them off still, rather than pulling back and he... They crashed a plane they were on into a volcano, Wesker infected himself with Uroboros, he fell into the lava because some rocks moved around, then Redfield and his partner shot him with a pair of rocket launchers." He took another swig of rum, starting to get genuinely upset by thinking about his friend's near-death-experience.

Birkin scoffed. "Well, people always assume he must have been awful to me. He wasn't always like that, though. I mean, perhaps he was always a sociopath but, I don't think it was ever that obvious until later..." He looked the other scientist in the eye again, smiling sadly. "Or maybe that's just wishful thinking and I never noticed for some reason despite it always being there." The blond took another drink. This was strangely therapeutic in an alcoholic sort of way. Although he needed to watch himself, he was already getting sort of tipsy and Birkin had a feeling that if Stein got him drunk enough, he'd just blab out the truth.

~~*smirk*~~

Stein stared, bemused, sipping his rum with one hand and turning his bolt with the other. It clicked as Birkin finished his explanation. "Now that is one tough guy to kill," he said thoughtfully. He would have liked to have the chance to do a full examination of Wesker.

He shrugged. "I don't know if he's been awful to you or not. I have no doubt that the both of you are sociopaths, though." He smiled crookedly. "Just like me. That doesn't mean much in itself."

"Like all offshoots of the Progenitor Virus, the virus grants - granted the infected regenerative abilities." Birkin shrugged. "Unfortunately, it has its limits. Especially when dealing with extreme heat." He glanced over at Stein's bolt. That click caught his attention; he'd love to be able to take a closer look at it... He'd just have to try some other time.

Birkin just stared. He was just called a sociopath. Again. He was so fucking sick of everyone - He took a deep, shaky breath to calm himself. "I am not a sociopath. You might be, and Wesker definitely is - was, but I am nothing of the sort. I can emphasize with people! Like..." He gestured wildly for a moment, as if trying to remember what he was going to say before realizing he didn't actually have an example and dropped his hand back on the couch. "I just know that I have a perfectly normal mind." He took another drink, realizing that he was practically a textbook example. "I'm not a sociopath. I'm not."

Stein nodded thoughtfully. "How come you never infected yourself with it?" he asked with curiosity. Perhaps it was just very dangerous, but certainly regenerative abilities and super-strength was worth a bit of risk.

He blinked. Why was Birkin getting so upset? Stein obviously didn't think being a sociopath was such a bad thing, so he couldn't think he was being deliberately insulted.

"Why does it bother you so much if you are?" he asked.

"Wesker was special. He was... Manufactured, if you will. Along with several others. They were supposed to be the perfect humans. Better than humans. Unfortunately, that virus Spencer - our old boss - forced me to make was too unstable at the time and we didn't really have the technology to fix it." He took another drink. "Most of the Wesker children died. The only one that survived was Albert. I wouldn't even want to think about what would happen if a normal human was infected..." Whatever it was, Birkin assumed it was probably extraordinarily painful. "Besides, I'd hate to go to the DMV and wait in line to get my eye color changed to 'red' on my license." He laughed slightly at his own feeble attempt for a joke, finishing off the rest of his glass then holding it out to Stein for some more.

Birkin didn't really know why it bothered him so much; it just did. And really he didn't want to talk about his mental state all that much anyway. "So, how are things going here? I noticed you got into a bit of trouble with Kid over Medusa's new body."

Stein refilled the glass and poured himself a second. At this rate, Birkin was going to be pretty smashed, but that was all according to plan. Not that Stein really had a detailed plan, but Birkin was likely more pliable when he was intoxicated, and at the very least Stein would be able to get more out of him.

He laughed at the joke, even if it was pretty lame. "I guess it's not that simple. Have you perfected the virus since then, though? Maybe it would work on normal humans now - obviously it wouldn't make sense to try it out on yourself, but you could probably find some subjects if you looked around." Whether or not the subjects would be willing was another matter.

He cocked his head, then rolled his eyes. "Yes, Kid's having his doubts about more than just me these days, I think. I can't really blame him, but it's not nice to be accused of betraying Shinigami-sama right to my face. Maka Albarn seemed to get it, though. I'll have to talk to Spirit and figure out how we're going to deal with the situation with Medusa, I suppose. I can't let her get the upper hand, even if she thinks she has it."

Birkin nodded in thanks, putting the beaker down to avoid drinking too much more. "I'm working on perfecting it now. I still need to talk to - I mean, I wish I could still talk to Wesker to see what needs to be adjusted, but, you know, I can't." That was a good enough explanation, right? Right. Makes perfect sense. After all, it probably took some time for someone to get used to the whole past-tense thing, anyway.

"I don't see how you can take him seriously. I mean... He takes obsessive-compulsive disorder to a whole new level. I've never seen anything like it." Ignoring his better judgement, he took another sip. "And really, I don't see why you don't like Medusa. She's always so nice to me. She really reminds me of Wesker to be honest. And because you remind me of, well, me I think you two would work well together." Birkin smiled. Might as well get to work on that little plan he formed with Medusa while he was here. "I think you'd have more fun focusing on science than just doing what that Shinigami guy wants you to."

Stein's eyes flickered. Birkin was making a lot of mistakes about that whole Wesker thing. How hard could it be to remember that he was dead? But if Wesker wasn't dead, Birkin had to have a reason for keeping it a secret, which meant he wasn't going to be able to get him to admit it just like that.

His attention was caught by Birkin's next words, anyway. He frowned faintly, sipping from his own cup. He also didn't drink often, and he could feel a pleasant fog settling over his brain. The fog was rarely far away, anyway.

"Kid is smart, but you're right, he has a very clear idea of the way the world should work. Cross him and he won't keep his opinion a secret," he said.

His eyes cut to Birkin, but he wasn't surprised by what he was saying. Of course Medusa would appeal to him - Birkin was like Stein. "I can't argue with that," he said slowly, watching a little spindly creature with three eyes cross the room and disappear under the coffee table. It was a hallucination, he knew, but he watched it anyway. "I'd be lying if I said her way of looking at things didn't appeal to me."

Birkin followed Stein's gaze for a second and raised an eyebrow after seeing nothing there. "I think she'd really appreciate it if you were more officially her partner rather than secretly trying to kill her and all that." He blinked a few times. That would probably get needlessly complicated over time, wouldn't it? "What's holding you back from dropping that mask and joining up with her then?" He tilted his head in curiosity. To an extent, Birkin genuinely wanted to know what Stein did to redeem himself so to speak in everyone's eyes. Maybe he could use that to his advantage and get everyone on his world to trust him so he could launch a sneak attack.

"I like your house by the way. You certainly put a lot of yourself into this building." Birkin couldn't help but smirk at Stein. He had an... Interesting sense of interior decorating, to say the least.

Stein looked up at Birkin. "To be honest, it's people," he said, a bit bemused. He drained the last of his beaker and reached for the rum again. "When I was little, Spirit kept me leashed, and by the time he went off to get married, I was used to it. I do feel as if I owe Shinigami-sama a lot, and there is...fulfilment in what I do."

He frowned, really trying to work it out in his mind in a way that Birkin might be able to understand. But he suspected it was a losing battle. "Then recently, I started teaching these kids, training them to fight witches. And I..." He smiled self-deprecatingly. "I guess I'm fond of them, for some reason."

He glanced at Birkin again. "And for all that I want Medusa, I don't trust her. She uses people up and destroys them, and she doesn't have the tiniest vestige of loyalty to anyone. Not to me, either. She wants a toy, not a partner. I don't want to be a toy."

"I don't know." Birkin picked the beaker up again, taking another drink. "I personally wouldn't want to be leashed like that. By anyone." He frowned slightly. "What did Shinigami do that makes you feel like you owe him anything? It's nice that you're fond of your students, but what about yourself. Aren't you and your desires more important?"

Birkin sighed. "But then, I wouldn't really want to be a toy either..." He bit the inside of his lip, looking for a slightly less depressing topic. "So how did you get that?" The scientist pointed at the scar on his companion's face to clarify.

"Shinigami-sama opened the school," Stein said, then realized that wasn't exactly a full explanation. His lips twisted. "He and the teachers practically raised me. I was an orphan, and had nowhere to go. He trained me to fight, taught me about souls."

He sobered. "I know my own desires are more important, but not necessarily all important. The leash... well, it was what they figured I needed, I guess. Spirit was the only one who could keep me distracted so I didn't hurt the other students. Except him, of course."

The change in subject prompted a soft chuckle. "I cut the skin and peeled it off my skull as part of the surgery to give me this." He tapped the bolt with a fingertip.

Edited 2009-06-19 03:00 (UTC)

Birkin raised the beaker to his lips again. So Stein was an orphan. Just like Sherry... And looking at what Stein became, he didn't want to imagine what happened to his daughter. "What would have happened to you if that school didn't exist, do you think?" Although he was quite certain he didn't really want the answer.

"Spirit is the one that just showed up and posted the personal ad, right?" He scoffed. "For someone who's so noble, he certainly isn't very classy."

The scientist didn't bother to hide his shock. "You did that to yourself? Why!?" Eyes wide and jaw slack, he just stared at the bolt. "You know you could have killed yourself, right?"

Stein shook his head. "If Shibusen didn't exist, I'd probably either be a toy of a witch already, or in jail." Want it or not, Birkin had his answer.

He laughed softly. "Spirit is a good man, a good man, but he's a philanderer of the highest order. His wife divorced him recently because he couldn't keep his hands off of other women."

The reaction from Birkin wasn't terribly surprising. "I might have, I suppose, but I was reasonably sure I wouldn't die." He smiled and spread his hands. "I'd rather trust these hands than anyone else's." Then he rolled up his sleeve, revealing a scar that encircled his forearm. "All of these are self-inflicted."

Birkin didn't have anything to say back to that comment, so he chose to just drink some more. It would be his fault if she was in jail, or worse... Goddamn it.

"I'm not sure if I feel worse for him or his wife." He was starting to notice a bit of a pattern with Stein, to be honest. Before he could stop himself (he'd blame the rum if anything), he asked: "Are you ever actually attracted to people who are monogamous? I mean... There are some definite similarities between Vanessa and this Spirit guy."

He understood not wanting to trust other doctors. He hadn't been to another doctor in a long, long time. Birkin instinctively reached out to grab Stein's arm, stopping himself before actually touching him. "All? You mean there's more? What in the world were you trying to prove?" His face showed genuine concern for his fellow scientist. Whatever reason Stein had for cutting himself up like this, it couldn't be good.

Stein noticed that reaction and wondered where it came from, but chose not to ask. He was too busy laughing at his next question. "You say that like I'm attracted to a lot of people," he said, bemused. "I don't think lack of monogamy is a factor, though it might be a factor in them choosing me, I don't know." He sobered slightly. "I never considered Vanessa until she came over and all but jumped me, you know."

The concern did surprise him a little. He knew Birkin had been horrified, but he didn't think he was really worried about him. "Prove? Nothing really," he said. "I was just...trying things, mostly. Exploring my own body, or seeing what I could do. There's more, though I'd have to strip to show you them all," he finished wryly.

"She makes a habit of doing that to people, I think. That's more or less what happened with us too. I originally just took her out to dinner but, half a bottle of champagne, countless eyebrow waggles, and one cherry chocolate cake later, that all went out the window." Birkin took another drink - why the hell not? - and cocked an eyebrow. "And I didn't say you were attracted to a lot of people. I was just pointing out that you're two-for-two in that department."

Birkin set his now-empty glass down on the table before grabbing Stein by the shoulders, resisting the urge to shake him. "Are you completely insane? Actually, don't answer that. I... What if something had gone wrong? You never would have been able to help yourself fast enough... You could have really hurt yourself, you know that right?" The scientist immediately assumed that his sudden concern from the well-being of others probably meant he should have stopped drinking about two glasses ago. Compassion. Ugh, just what he didn't need right now.

"Somehow, I'm not surprised that's how it was," Stein said wryly. He shook his head. "It's not polygamy or monogamy that interests me. It's just... interesting people. And a woman who just goes on smiling while I do my damndest to terrify her, and cut up her skin... is interesting."

He stiffened as Birkin grabbed him, nearly dropping his own glass, startled all over again. "I know," he said. His own fingers curled around Birkin's upper arms in return, holding him steady, and hopefully with reassurance. "Nothing went wrong. I took precautions. And it was a time in my life when I didn't have anyone else to experiment on. So I experimented on myself." It seemed perfectly reasonable to him.

"Personally, I think 'interesting' is the understatement of the century with her." Birkin sort of wondered if Stein found him interesting but he held his tongue, not sure if he wanted to actually hear the answer no matter which one it was.

He frowned. "I'm sure you took precautions, but precautions aren't always enough. Nothing happened, obviously, but..." With a sigh, Birkin released his hold on the other man's shoulders and stared hard at the floor. "If you ever think about doing that to yourself again, call me instead. I'd rather you experimented on me than run the risk of damaging yourself beyond repair... I don't have many friends and losing any one of them is devastating." He snickered to himself for a few seconds. "I'm going to regret saying that one day, aren't I?"

Stein grinned at Birkin's assessment of Vanessa, but sobered as he went on, releasing him as Birkin let go.

He couldn't help but stare for a moment as he absorbed Birkin's words. "Probably," he said, half amused, half perplexed. Was this why Birkin was so hung up on Wesker's death? Maybe he really was dead and Birkin just had a hard time letting go.

"Maybe you aren't a sociopath, after all," he murmured thoughtfully, lighting up a cigarette. "Why would you put yourself under my knife? Just to stop me from doing something I chose to do because I wanted to? It makes no sense."

Birkin opened his mouth before shutting it. Why did he say that? Oh, right. "Honestly, I think it has more to do with me just downing several glasses of rum than anything else." He shrugged slightly. "That and... It's the kind of thing friends do for each other, right? Sacrifice and selflessness and all that..."

"Besides, women tend to like men with scars; makes them seem dangerous. I don't need you to get another few and entice Vanessa even more and I realize I need to catch up somehow." Birkin smirked.

Under his breath he couldn't help but mumble a very quiet: "Told you I wasn't a sociopath..."

Stein's lips curved in a smirk. "You don't really seem the sacrifice and selflessness type, I guess. Nor did I think we were competing for Vanessa."

He sobered and reached out, putting a hand on Birkin's shoulder. "About Vanessa, she's a fascinating girl, and she is a great deal of fun. But I don't love her, like you do. Don't worry about me stealing her from you, because it's not going to happen."

He chuckled. "All right, fine. But if you're not, you still need to remember that I am. I don't... feel things the way normal people do. Attachments are hard for me." He spoke as if reading from a textbook, just a bit. He knew these things about himself, because he'd diagnosed himself, but it was an intellectual knowledge. He didn't understand how other people really felt... he just knew he didn't feel the same.

Birkin blinked a few times, sort of confused by Stein's last statement. "I don't care whether you are or not. Just because you don't feel things in the same way I do doesn't mean a thing." He smiled. "I mean, I'm friends with Wesker and whatever your mental problems may be, they're nothing compared to his. Although, we'll need to do something about you experimenting on yourself."

Birkin scoffed. "Also, I'm not worried about you trying to steal her. I'm worried about her trying to steal you." As soon as his brain caught up with his mouth, the rest of his face decided to cut in and turn pink. He did not just phrase his thoughts like that. "Or, erm... No, that's... You know what I mean; she just seems so fickle... I wasn't trying to imply that I... Not that you're not... I'm sure most people would..." He exhaled slowly, his cheeks now tomato red.

"Okay, I'm just going to stop trying to explain what I meant and ask for a refill instead." He grabbed his beaker off the table, holding it out to Stein.

Stein refilled his drink, fascinated by the stammering and blushing. Did Birkin just say what he thought he'd just said? No, surely not.

"What I meant," he said, taking some pity on the poor man. "Was that I don't seem to relate very well to normal people all the time. I'm not good at giving people...emotional connection." He shrugged. "But as you say, you're friends with Wesker, so maybe that's not a problem for you. It certainly has been a problem in the past, that's all."

He grinned. Pity time over. "Steal me in what sense~? I really didn't get what you were trying to say there, Birkin."

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I watched Soul Eater all day and I'm thinking about apping Liz next month fffff

Yesssssss, another convert! \o/

You guys need pamphlets like a proper cult :|

But then you'd be on guard!

At least you won't E-meter me?

...probably.

D:

>D

*runs far, far away*

*chases*

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runs far, far away

chases